Thanksgiving-Dress-Up-Birthday-Pinata-Talent-Show

We packed as much as possible into this year's Thanksgiving and it was so much fun. I'm so thankful for the close-knit community we have here. It was wonderful to have the Wilbur and Ready families back in Tajikistan for the holidays this year as well as newcomers: a wonderful Swiss couple - Beni & Rahel, and the two home school teachers from Germany - Simone and Annabel. Our Thanksgiving is always very special and this year had to have been one of the best. It started out with Laura going from home to home in the village where they live, looking for turkeys to buy. She found some and hoisted them back to her house (well, her hen-house to be precise). We got to see the turkeys the next day (Thanksgiving Day in America) and even witness the male mating with the female (we didn't go into detail about what was happening to the kids). Upon hearing that daddy was going to return that evening and kill the turkeys, Hannah said, "I want to watch daddy kill those turkeys. That big turkey (the male) is a really bad turkey. He stood on top of the little one. Daddy should kill that bad turkey." She did accompany Rees and many of our other friends here showed up at the Wilburs for the event. Apparently the killing of the tom was rather brutal as Rees chased it with an axe, knocked it out and then be-headed it (too graphic?). He was scared of the tom turkey biting him (and thus getting another infection and having to take yet more antibiotics - after these last few months of kidney stones, surgery, stent, fevers, pain, etc, etc. I don't blame him). But thankfully Jonathan was able to calmly sneak up behind the female and just grab her so she had a more humane passing. Laura, Rees and Simone gutted and plucked the turkeys and Laura fixed up the birds for our Thanksgiving celebration.
We all gathered for our Thanksgiving celebration on Saturday (yesterday) and it was way more than just Thanksgiving. It had been Liberty's birthday this past week so we threw a birthday party into the celebration as well as a dress-up party (since we didn't do that at the end of October). The kids smashed a turkey pinata (we really have nothing against turkeys - though all the mention of violence against turkeys in this post may make you think otherwise) and between the meal and dessert, there was a talent show, emceed by Troy Ready who would be happy to sing his debut song for you about living here (to the tune of John Denver's, "Thank God I'm a Country Boy"). There was so much great food (always way way way more than the 22+ of us end up eating), lots of laughs and so much love and thankfulness, we didn't want it to end. We left for home in the snow and this morning woke up to a winter wonderland (which has now melted back down to the mud pit we live in).
I do hope that all of you had a lovely Thanksgiving as well. We thought of many of you (potentially even all of you) and are so thankful for each of you - for your support (spoken and unspoken), your love, and all the little ways in which you've encouraged and inspired us (both in the past and in the present).

We dressed up as the Berenstain Bears.

Hannah taking a turn at the turkey pinata.

The Readys had very clever costumes. Myles was a puppy, Keaton was dog bones (like the kind they chew on), Jenny was Puppy Chow, and Troy was dog poop. You'll have to check their blog to see pics of the whole fam: www.readyfam.blogspot.com.

Beni and Rahel dressed up as Apple Computers.

Troy sharing his song at the talent show.

This was just the beginning. Isn't it funny that we have appetizers right before such a large meal?

Rees and the kids at the Somoni in our city. The fountains were only on for a few hours in the evenings this fall and we went for lots of walks to see them. This is when the temperatures were getting really comfortable (finally) in late September.

This is one of the kids' favorite activities in our home. We stack up our korpuchas (the mats we sleep on and sit on) and the kids knock them down and jump off the remaining stack into the toppled mess.

Hannah kissing the newest addition to our Tajik family. Born at the very end of July, her name is Sumaya (su-my-YAH). Apparently she was at a point where she would cry in everyone else's arms and wasn't I tickled that she fell asleep in my lap like this :)

Another favorite past-time - hiding in their wardrobe. There's a smaller compartment to the kids' wardrobe (or sheefaner as we say here) that they like to pull all their jammies out of and climb in together. As much as a don't like seeing the pile of jammies on the floor (again) I do love to hear their cute muffled voices inside.

Me with my friend, Mijgona (midge-go-NAH) and her mom in their kitchen - the side that this picture is taken from is open to outside.  Mijgona studies here in our city during the week and we help each other with language (she's learning English). She spends the weekends with her family in their city, about half and hour from ours. We went to meet her family just over a week before Rees went to Turkey.  If you're wondering about the crazy pattern of my dress, it's called Atlas and there are hundreds of variations of it but it's very Tajik.

A real fall

I'm just so thrilled that it actually seems like we may have fall this year! If I open our windows in the morning I have to put a sweatshirt on to stay warm! Midday is still in the mid-80s, lower 90s, but it starts to cool down again before the sun is even set. Last year it was still in the 90s throughout the first half of October. I remember the first day that I actually wore a sweatshirt the whole day was Oct. 31st. We had two rain showers from Sept - early Jan. That's a whole lot of hot and dry for this Pacific NW girl! So, though we haven't had any rain yet, I'm actually hopeful we may have some this year.
We had a WONDERFUL time in Germany and Austria in August. Every part of our break exceeded our expectations. We returned to Tajikistan refreshed and healthy (though sad that we had to say goodbye to our lovely family there). I'll post pics next month probably as our internet plan got all wacky this month and we don't have a lot of megabytes (and uploading pics take lots more MB than just typing words does). I felt really at home in Germany and Austria. I never expected I'd feel that way in a European country. I don't know if it's just because it had been a while since I'd been in a country that you could drink the tap water and throw your toilet paper in the toilet and turn a light switch on and have it predictably turn a light on. I'd visited Spain back in 2003 and though it was a lovely country and very fun to visit, I remember thinking, "I could never live here." I know that's funny coming from a gal who lives in a developing country, who's home would be condemned if it were in the states, but what can I say - life is surprising.  They hardly eat any breakfast in Spain and then don't eat a meal until around 2pm. Then they eat dinner really late and it's not unusual to see families out taking walks at 1am. I'm just not a night person and breakfast is the most important meal of the day for me. Everyone was really dressed up all the time too. I loved Germany, though. We ate granola and yogurt or grainy bread with seeds in it for breakfast. People were, on the whole, so pragmatic and things were done so methodically. There were parks for children to play in every block or two and the children were dressed in actual play clothes, getting dirty and no one telling them to be careful not to get dirty. I loved it! I also wonder if it helped that it was the first time in two years that I was somewhere that no one gave me a second glance. I fit in. I looked like everyone else. I loved that. I had a moment of realizing how my mind has assimilated to being here in Tajikistan. Our last full day in Austria, I wanted to go for a last swim in the mountain lake that was only 1km from our little apartment. It was probably only 68 degrees, but warm enough not to deter me. I walked the path to the lake with my head down, not wanting to make eye contact with the passersby who certainly thought I was headed to my death - you know, cold water kills you, at least that's what they think here. I most certainly didn't want to make eye contact with any men - that would invite even more negative attention. I headed straight for the lake, thinking of what I would say to the people who would certainly be telling me that I would get sick swimming in a cold lake when it's "cold" outside, only to find other families who looked much like me already hanging out by the lake, some of their children already swimming. No one gave me a second glance as I swam to my heart's content. It was so refreshing in every way. I could go on and on about how much we loved Germany and Austria but I must say that much of what made our visit extra wonderful was getting to spend time with family. Rees' dad's cousin, Luci, and her husband, Uli, along with their grown-up kids, Andre and Danielle, hosted us at the beginning and end (and came to Austria with us) and Rees' mom, brother, sister-in-law, nephew, sister and brother-in-law as well as Luci's sister, Kim, all came. It was such a blast. We didn't sleep any more or any better than we do here in T-stan, but we had so much more energy! What a gift.
We have been back in Tajikistan for about 2 1/2 weeks now and returned to two rounds of guests from America. It was so fun to get to just keep visiting with people that we know and love from our "other life." We also immediately had various goings-on with neighbors and our friends here and Rees started right back up with planning new English classes for the fall. All in all, it's been a smooth transition back to our home here - thank you, Lord. I'm typing this with a second or third degree burn on my finger, two days after Rees passed some kidney stones, but those two things aside - things are really looking up :)

The right place at the right time

Jenny and I went to visit Laura's neighbor's little girl in the hospital on Saturday. She's three years old and has Guillan-Barre syndrome (progressive profound weakness that moves its way up the body, occasionally affecting the diaphragm enough that a person must be put on a ventilator - usually eventually completely resolves on its own - you can look it up online :). Since we have active polio in this area of the country everyone has been telling this little girl's mom that she has polio or some infection. Thanks to Laura's hard work of educating the family and calling in every connection she has and thanks to this little girl's stubborn and smart mom - she's doing pretty well. She can't walk or sit up on her own very well but she's able to feed herself and can push against your hand with her foot a bit. Her mom's foot got ran over by a taxi a few weeks ago (talk about adding insult to injury) and she ended up with her heel somewhat detached and a nasty open wound. She's also a single mom. So she's been hobbling around, carrying her seemingly newly paraplegic 3 yr old daughter in a land where people "comfort" you behind your back (and to your face) saying that it's your fate. Sound comforting?
somon, aka: about $2.70. As we left, he asked Laura if there were any programs that bring a doctor from a developing country like Tajikistan to a more modern country like the U.S. for more medical training. He told her that he recognizes that they are limited in what they know and without the help of the government or anyone else, they'll just continue to sit there, not doing much different. We all really admired his humility and eagerness to learn more, not acting like he already knew everything he needed to. If anyone knows any programs like that, please let us know. As for S, I really think her foot will heal well. This doctor told her he'd continue to do her wound care while she was there with her daughter. I'm so thankful for how that day and that visit worked out and that Jenny and I were there and that Laura suggested we look at her foot. She seriously could have lost her foot but God put everyone and everything into place for her to get the treatment she needed. As for S's daughter, she is at the peak of when the Guillan-Barre syndrome should be at its worst and will hopefully be starting to improve. S is a very attentive mom and is using her common sense, keeping her daughter upright a lot so pneumonia doesn't set in, doing range of motion exercises with her, moving her position a lot so she doesn't get bed sores. If I was S, I would have been having a major pity party. So though the state of the medical systems here are atrocious from a western standpoint, there are some real gems working here and some remarkable parents who are advocating for their children.

My mom's visit

It still seems surreal that I just got to have my mom here for a visit. She arrived June 16th (at 3:20am - it's such a long journey!) and left on June 27th (at 5am - not many flights arriving or leaving at desirable times here). Rees and Troy went to pick her up (thanks guys!) and she arrived with all her bags (mostly full of things for us) at our house just before 6am. I probably woke up every hour that night, thinking about where she was and how close was she getting. It was wonderful to be able to give her a big hug in person and we all decided that while the kids were still asleep (they stayed asleep until 8:30!) that she and Rees should try to get some sleep themselves. I tried to keep the kids occupied and at least somewhat quiet so they could sleep. When my mom woke up she opened the door and there were Hannah and Emmett staring up at her. Hannah didn't miss a beat and said, "oh hi grandma" as if she sees her every day then she hugged her and quickly decided that they should color together. Emmett was a little more reserved but quickly warmed up to "mm-ma" saying, "mm-ma, watch, watch!" before every little stunt he could think of doing. The kids and grandma baked cookies and a cake while she was here - we have some very happy pictures of this. We also went to the big bozor twice, took the kids to the play place, had a party at our house with the neighbor ladies, had a mini birthday party at the English Club (where Rees teaches) teaching a group of students the about the differences in how we celebrate birthdays in America compared to Tajikistan. We went out to our Tajik family's house in the village, had dinner at Gulzira and Hirulo's house, had a dinner picnic at the river and had another evening that a friend of mine came over for dinner and my mom showed us a new, easy dinner to make. She also got to share some practical tips with Gulzira and Hirulo about making and following a budget (upon their request) and it was encouraging to see her skills as an accountant being put to use with immediate reward (they love the idea of the envelop system and thought it was a really good idea to first be in agreement with each other). At the end of the week, we headed up to Varzob (the mountains) and spent two days at a place that we'd been to before, next to a river (thankfully walled off really well) and went swimming in the pool and let the kids play on the toys. Troy, Jenny, Myles and Keats joined us at that point and then we spent two nights (2 days) in Dushanbe, staying at a beautiful hotel (not a common occurrence for us :), enjoying the lovely surroundings, good air conditioning, the botanical gardens and a couple of restaurants. Once again, the Indian Restaurant wins out as the best this time. It is hot in Tajikistan right now and my mom did great. Rees was sick the entire time with both some kind of bronchitis and a worsening gut problem (which, is thankfully now much improved) and I had a nasty cough/wheeze (that unfortunately how now turned into a fever as well as head congestion) but there's something so comforting about being sick and having your mom around, even at 33 yrs old. We had all kinds of fun but it was the "normal" things that were the most special for me - waking up in the morning with the coffee made and someone to drink it with (Rees drinks coffee but he's not a morning person so I usually make it and drink it alone and save him some). We stayed in our pj's much longer than we normally would have, just talking and drinking coffee and together attending to the kids. It was wonderful to have another adult with me through the day to talk to, to help watch the kids and read books and draw with them, to brainstorm what to make for dinner with and then to hang out with once they went to bed (Rees included in this, of course :). We were usually so tired that we only a few times managed to stay up much past the kids. I'm still going to bed with them now, actually. Don't know when the next time I'll actually see a clock that says anything later than 9pm. It was great for us to be able to show her our lives here and know now that she'll be able to put a picture, sound, face or smell to the stories we tell her from here on out and that when we return to the U.S. any odd behaviors that we or our kids exhibit she'll probably understand. So here are some pictures of from her visit. Also, I put an album on my FB profile if you'd like to see more.

Prayer

I’m so thankful for prayer. It doesn’t cost anything, can be done anywhere and in any way and is such a great alternative to just getting bogged down with discouragement or cynicism – which we all know is all to easy to do. Being the touchy-feely type that I am I am certainly a fan of not avoiding your emotions, of being honest with yourself and God, of just letting the sadness out when you’re sad and all that stuff. But I’m so thankful that we can do all that being sad and mad and elated and flat in the presence of God and that once we let out all those feelings or vent or whatever we want to call it, that we can talk with God, bring our concerns to Him, knowing that He’s got a much bigger perspective and lot more power to do something than we do. I’m reflecting on all of this right now because I’m totally wiped out, hot, our electricity has been out all day and most likely when it returns our water will be dry. My mom left yesterday morning (after a wonderful visit – I’ll post pics!) and I’m sick of all the energy it takes just to live in a developing country but I’m realizing how great it is that I can be laying down, not “doing” a ton but at the same time, in prayer, doing a whole lot. Even when I don’t feel a ton of faith or emotion while praying, I’m just so thankful that I can talk to God. The country we live in is quite corrupt and most people don’t trust anyone (and unfortunately they have good reason). Just yesterday we were driving home from Dushanbe and got stopped (in the middle of nowhere, in the blazing sun, in a car without air-conditioning, in the middle of the day, with two kids red-cheeked asleep in the back)  by a policeman who just wanted to extort us. He lied saying we were driving 91 km/hr and both Rees and I had seen our speedometer and he wasn’t even going 70. Did I mention that Rees and I have had a really bad bout of bronchitis and Rees has had a terrible stomach bug? He mustered up all the anger at the corruption he has here and yelled at the policeman, “You are full of lies and sin! It’s because of people like you who punish people who obey the law that this country is remaining so poor! You should be ashamed of yourself!” He also related a story from a few weeks ago where he had been stopped on the same road for not wearing his seatbelt but he had been wearing his seatbelt. He told that particular policeman that he was lying and that he’s an American and Americans have the habit of always wearing their seatbelts.  He told him he was tired and mad that the law doesn’t make a difference and that they should punish people who are actually breaking the law, not lie and try to punish people who are obeying it. The other policemen around him cut in to try to calm Rees down and one noticed the shirt he was wearing and asked if he played futbol (soccer) and once Rees said that he did, he just sent him on his way.  This is a bit of a tangent but I couldn’t help but think today when our electricity went out (and stayed out) that the rich of the city surely have electricity and the rest of the population, who are just surviving day to day don’t. Then I realized that while I’m sitting here, feeling exhausted, wheezing and coughing and blowing my nose, stuck inside (while Emmett is taking a nap) that there’s nothing stopping me from praying. So I’m praying that the crooked government will be made straight, that they won’t pool all their resources for themselves but put the people’s money into things that actually benefit them (not into making the world’s largest flagpole – but that’s a different entry). A change of heart has to happen. So that’s the bee in my bonnet right now and ironically the electricity just came back on. I’m going to turn on the a/c now but I’m not going to stop praying.

What mismatched shoes can reveal about worldview

Hannah has started choosing her own clothes and shoes to wear most days. She usually does a good job, occasionally picking out two skirts and tights and no shirt but for the most part choosing a top and bottoms of some sort. I can't believe how big she's getting! In Tajikistan, like many other parts of the world, you take off your shoes when you go inside a home. This can be kind of labor intensive when they're really little and you feel like all you're doing is taking kids' shoes off and on but once they're a little older it's remarkable to see how quickly they learn to put on/take off their shoes (and how quickly their mom learns to get them slip-ons). Lately Hannah puts on one blue flip-flop and one pink plastic slip-on with a bow. She's a pretty spirited little one and we learned early on to choose our battles so I always let this one go. It's interesting though what EVERYONE tells her when she goes outside dressed this way. They all say (and I'm not exaggerating, every local person who comments on her shoes says this), "You put on two different shoes! Everyone will laugh (at you)! That's an embarrassment." Some like to add that wearing two different shoes ugly or they like to show her how their own shoes match and tell her that she should put on matching shoes. Now no one is screaming at her, they are all saying this with mock shock (or real shock) and mostly with singsong or at least normal tones of voice and all are "helping." I've blogged before about "shame vs. honor" cultures - of which Tajikistan is one. Behavior is shaped based on how it affects the whole community - with little regard for the individual. I'm not saying individuals don't matter, but the whole - the family, the community - is more important. If we were in America I'd probably hear comments more like, "Oh she must be dressing herself these days, huh?" which would probably lead to some story-swapping centering around the budding independence of our kids. It's more an "independence-marker." In the U.S. independence is a high value and doesn't it seem that there are a kazillion books that are more or less telling you how to make your kid independent (get them to sleep through the night ASAP, get them to get rid of the breast/bottle ASAP, get them confident so they can achieve, make friends, get a life of their own someday, etc.). I'm not dogging these, I just thought it was an interesting observation in the differences between how a "guilt-innocence" culture (the U.S. - you know, do the right thing) contrasts with a "shame-honor" culture (the right thing changes depending on what's currently best for everyone). I don't think Hannah would ever be told in the U.S. that everyone will laugh at her and that it's an embarrassment that she put on mismatched shoes - especially not in Portland! You may wonder what I say to these neighbors, friends and strangers who comment on Hannah's shoes. I tell them that it was her desire to put her shoes on this way, that I'm thankful that she can put on her own shoes and that I only argue with her over things that I think are really important, that it doesn't hurt anyone if we walk to the store or hang out outside with mismatched shoes. You may also wonder what Hannah does. She looks at them, usually having already greeted them, looks at their shoes (which they've usually pointed out match) and looks back at them like, "and you're telling me this because?..." gives a little shrug and walks away looking for rocks or sticks or other outdoor treasures. I love that about her, she isn't rude (though we know she could be) she just knows that things like matching shoes when you're playing in the dirt don't matter and she doesn't let it get to her. She's proud of making her own decisions - since she's the daughter of American parents who are raising her to be independent :)