A spring-time update

Hannah just turned three on April 10^th and we think she’s got to be one of the funniest, cutest three year olds on the planet. Of course we realize that most other parents think the same thing about their children but we rejoice that God created us to really love our children and think these kinds of things. Sure helps with the rough times. It seems like she always has something funny to say: ie: she walked into the room a few days before her birthday with her elbows up to her ears and her hands hanging down and told me, “I’m a switch.” When I tried to flip the switch on I said, “Well then let’s see what happens when I turn this switch on.” She quickly said, “NO mommy! Don’t turn me one! I’m almost three years old!” If she’s not saying something funny she’s saying it in a funny way, maybe with overzealous enthusiasm, “We’ve got to be SOOOOOO careful when we’re cutting onions with a sharp knife or we might REALLY REALLY REALLY  hurt ourselves.” These kinds of comments help us know that at least some things we say are sinking in.  Other times it’s mixing Tajik with English, “are those onions tez-tezzie-tez-tez?” Tez means sharp, hot and fast here and we use it to describe onions that make your eyes water but of course just saying “tez” isn’t enough, it has to be “tez-tezzie-tez-tez.” When we can’t keep a straight face any longer she quickly reprimands us saying, “That is NOT funny! You do NOT laugh!” Which makes us laugh even harder as she stomps out of the room. We are so thankful for all the laughs and all the sweet and remarkable things about her. The difficult things are really difficult (that little will is really impressive) but we continue to try to keep things in perspective and tell her frequently that she’s a leader – don’t think she knows what that means but she will someday.

Emmett is 10 1/2 months now and I don’t know how he does it, but he’s just cuter and cuter all the time. After crawling backwards for 2 months he finally started going forward at 10 months. That same week he got his first tooth – both to which Hannah gave him a big cheer, “Way to go Em! You got a tooth! Good job!” His temperament is still super sweet and slightly particular. He’s really happy crawling around our apartment and I’m really thankful for the smaller space and the Tajik standard of frequently cleaning your floors because I don’t have to worry so much about him finding things on the floor he can choke on. It’s funny to think that at this age Hannah was pointing to anything sparkly or shiny and whispering, “pretty” while Em is crawling around the floor growling like a tiger. I love seeing the differences between them. Hannah was never really enthralled with one object for very long, whereas Emmett could spend all day examining the vacuum cleaner and still look forward to checking it out again tomorrow – even better if we moved it from room to room and allowed him to crawl around trying to find it.

They’ve both had their sicknesses but we are happy to report they are doing better now. Hannah had scarlet fever (thanks Andrew for helping us figure that one out!) and it took us a month to finally figure it out (what seemed to be different, un-related symptoms every week). She took antibiotics for the first time in her life and as soon as she was done with them, Emmett got sick with nasty chest and sinus congestion and a raging fever. Thankfully, they are doing great now. Em still has a little residual cough but they are both acting like themselves again.

Rees has been playing football with a very competitive team here and enjoys it most days. It’s a little complicated because we’re learning Tajik and the coach coaches in Russian so someone always has to translate into Tajik for him (and Troy is playing too) and they have to try to figure out what the Tajik means. He had a bummer of a day last week where he went to the field that another player had told him their practice game was at only to get there and find the field empty. By the time he got to the other field (which is outside the city – not convenient or quick to get to) he was late and the coach made him run 10 laps and then he didn’t get to play in the game. Of course, he would have been on time at the correct field if he had understood that. Fortunately, he has a great sense of humor so it became tragically funny pretty quick. He’s also working with the English club here – helping come up with a vision for how it should run and what should change. He’s already taught a few classes and enjoyed it and both of us are looking at teaching some more. He and Troy are also working on marketing (more or less) and fund-raising for the NGO (non-governmental-organization) we are working with here, Millennium Development Partners. Get ready, very soon you will be receiving a link to the revamped web-sight and you’ll be able to check out all the projects Millennium has going on both here and in other parts of the world.

I am staying busy with language lessons, visiting with neighbors (hospitality is HUGE here so there’s lots of visiting), taking care of my kids and the usual washing, cleaning, cooking, shopping – all of which take way more time here than they did in the states. I’m looking for a house-helper to help me with all of this but the process is a little slow. I should say it seems slow. I’ve been praying for the right house-helper for a year before we even came so I know there’s someone special out there for us. There are definite differences in how we raise children here so I’m looking for someone my kids will feel comfortable with and that won’t be trying to constantly give them chocolate or tell me to leave them alone, “they’re only playing” when Hannah is dragging Emmett around by the leg and he’s crying. I’ve used my skills as a nurse fairly regularly in conversations with neighbors and as they’ve asked me what I think they should do for various ailments. It seems that everyone has high blood pressure and it’s also really popular to give someone (even little babies) an IM injection of antibiotics when they’re sick so I’ve had lots of conversations about blood pressure and diet and proper use of antibiotics. I don’t think anyone has changed their practices because of a conversation they’ve had with me but I do hope that as they see how we live and treat illnesses, they’ll take note of what works for us. On the other side, there’s also a lot to learn from them about how to treat things. They are really adept at using mountain herbs for certain illnesses and many people try herbal remedies before anything else, trusting that our bodies are made to fend off illness and even get stronger after fighting a cold or something. I certainly don’t want to paint a picture that everyone is inept at healthcare, there’s just certain things that are astonishingly antiquated or wrong and other things that are impressively healthy.

So that’s the update for now. We just got our MagicJack working so if anyone is up for a phone call, let us know. From the states, morning and evening are better times as we are 10-12 hours ahead from most places.  I find myself wanting to call people but evening is the best time and I’m frequently so tired in the evening I feel like I couldn’t do a lot more talking, but I am hungry to just hear about life from everyone else. There’s at least three birth stories from friends I haven’t heard and I’m really looking forward to hearing them. Justine – I’d love to see some flamenco footage too if you have video uploaded somewhere. Signing out with lots of love to all of you who are reading this.

Finally a few pics

Here's a shout out to Nan for finding a great new camera for us and getting it to our friends from here who were visiting in Portland. They brought it back to Tajikistan to us and I'm so happy to finally be able to take some pictures again. Just a short update on the kids - Hannah is funnier than ever. How that happens, I don't know. She's doing great and picking up enough Tajik to be able to assert herself outside with the other kids. They think she's so cute and funny and subsequently want to pick her up and play with her all the time but she's almost three and in the "I can do it myself" mode and doesn't take kindly to this. The kids are (mostly) sweet and all the little girls are like mini-mommies already so they don't understand why she wouldn't want to be held and coddled. Needless to say, she picked up the Tajik equivalents of "NO!" "Don't!" and "that's not ok!" following closely behind these phrases are the words for "give it (to me)" "take it" "come here" and "candy." We haven't gotten any further with potty training and to be honest, I don't want to make it an issue so we're just waiting for her to show more interest. They really don't use diapers here so it's definitely an oddity for our almost three year old to still use them but that's one of the many reasons why I'm glad we came at this point in life because I care a lot less about what other people think about that and I'm not going to make her suffer for my embarrassment. Anyway, it seems that all the kids outside know Hannah and she's making friends. She had her first sleep over last month with the daughter of some friends of ours from Portland who live in another city here. Her name is also Hannah and they are 10 months apart and got along fantastic. They played and played. At one point we heard them laughing really hard in Hannah's room and our friend, Troy, said, "just watch, they're drawing all over the walls or something." We laughed then but that's exactly what they were doing. When confronted by the daddies, Hannah Renee (our Hannah is Hannah Joy) soberly told them that Hannah Joy had the red crayon and she had the purple one. Then her conscience got to her and she quickly confided, "but then we traded!" These friends just moved to a different city east of our city, up in the mountains, and we plan on visiting them there once they are settled and it gets hot here in our city. Emmett has been close to crawling for a month now (he's 9 months now). He goes backwards and sideways but not forward yet. Whether he's sitting or on all fours, he loves to rock and makes himself laugh doing that. He's eating solid food now, but is fairly particular in what he wants and makes it very clear when he doesn't like something - sealing his mouth shut and crossing his arms in front of his face while shaking his head "no." Applesauce tops his list and the neighbor girl, Farzona, who plays with Hannah during our Tajik lessons, comes every Saturday and helps me peel and chop fruits and veggies to make food for Emmett. Even though I made baby food in the states, I had a lot of freezer space (don't here) and could always use jarred food as a back-up. The jarred food was also nice when other fruits/veggies aren't in season. Anyway, enough about baby food - suffice it to say, it's a lot more work to feed a baby here but it's also super fresh too so it's probably good for him in the long run. He's making lots of sounds and continues to be a sweet, sweet baby and delights everyone he meets with his eager smile and how easy it is to make him laugh. As for Rees and I, we continue to plug away at the language but are encouraged by how much we are able to communicate and understand after being here for only four months. That say, we have a long way to go. Our Tajik family is doing well too. The new bride, Mauzuna, is pregnant and everyone is thrilled with this news. Dilafruz seems happier with her new baby now and even her husband, Hurshed, doesn't seem as disappointed to have a fifth daughter. She's beautiful, tiny and thriving. We've had various meals with different neighbors and I must say that if you have to be a stranger in a foreign land, this is a good one to be in. Our neighbors are super hospitable and most people are very patient with our Tajik. We may not have predictable electricity or water, but for now I think I'd rather be without some of these things (some times, at least :) and not be lonely than be in a home with reliable electricity and water, living far away from our loved ones, and not have any friends.

Winter finally came

We have had a fantastic winter here in Tajikistan. Until this week we've had more mild days than cold days and more sunshine than rain/snow. We've felt most days like it was fall or spring not winter. We've also had WAY more electricity than we anticipated. In winters past there was only a few hours of electricity every day (when there was electricity) and I'd say that we've averaged 23hrs of electricity a day. For the last week we've finally had winter - snow, cold and ice and subsequently spotty electricity. We were completely without for two days and when it came back our water didn't work. We live in a 4th floor apartment and have to use a motor to get water up to our apartment so when there's no electricity, we don't have running water. This would actually be more of an inconvience in the states since much of our lives there rely on convenience (ie: expecting water to come out of the faucet when we turn it on) and though it certainly isn't convenient here, it's normal and therefore the rhythm of life includes (actually revolves around) getting water every day. Our apartment "dues" are for the outdoor running water stations, the tandoor ovens and the sweeping of all the common grounds. No pool, work-out room and sauna here! :) We keep a large garbage can full of water for these kinds of situations and actually got to the bottom of the can this week. Rees hauled water in 3 or 4 trips with two buckets a trip up to our 4th floor home and we replenished our supply. If you stop and think about how much water you use every day, it's pretty impressive. Washing anything (clothes, dishes, hands, etc), cooking (including rinsing off veggies and stuff), flushing the toilet (if you don't have running water, even a flushing toilet won't flush), cleaning, etc. Even while preparing a meal that doesn't require any water, you frequently get something on your hands while you're preparing it and you can't just turn on the sink and rinse it off. All this to say, we have a great appreciation for how most of the world's population lives and how much time it takes just to live when you don't have an easy and reliable water source. We've read a fantastic book called "The Hole in Our Gospel" since being here and it spends a whole chapter talking about how having access to decent water is crucial to progress of any kind in any part of the world. Highly recommend this book whether or not you consider yourself a Christian. It may actually help you understand why we are here in a new way. I'm going on an on about this but that's not actually what I intended to blog about. Actually, I don't really remember what I was going to write about. I've sat down to write this post three times now. I got interrupted by about 4 different knocks at the door and a really awkward situation with a good friend of ours bringing his second wife (who we don't think is actually his wife. second wife here means in addition to the first, not instead of - a little different dynamic) over and thinking they could take a shower together in our shower all while the electricity guy was trying to get a bribe out of us (at least that's what we think was happening). All in all, we really didn't understand what was happening and sure as heck couldn't communicate well enough to convey everything we wanted to. I probably said, "Nameshavad!" (nah-meh-shavad) which more or less means, "not okay!" at least 10 times to everyone and we think our friend got the picture and the electricity guy said "mylee" (which means something akin to "ok" or "fine") but currently everyone in our building has electricity except us so maybe it wasn't all ok. The developing world sparks plenty of creativity though and we just hooked our electric line into our neighbor's. We're really thankful they're so generous. Don't worry, we are doing really well. Language continues to slowly build and improve and we continue to make friends and strengthen the relationships we have. Yesterday my neighbor who is two years older than me with 5 kids came over for the first time. I've been to her home probably 4 times but she's never come over to ours (two of her kids have). She lost her husband just after we moved in here and she was a second wife. She said she was feeling sad and thought she should just come sit with me. She has a lot of things to pay for and there's no such thing as life insurance here so without her husband she's in a tough situation. Even tougher because she's a second wife so all the customary gifts of money that people give when a husband dies went to the first wife. I was a little worried that she was going to ask me for money but she just wanted someone to think about options with and to brainstorm work options. Her only daughter, Farzona (she's about 10) comes every Mon, Wed and Fri to play with Hannah and keep her busy during our language lesson. It's a good informal language lesson for Hannah too. After talking to our friend and teammate Laura we decided to have Farzona help us out a bit more and pay her with stuff for school (paper, pens, etc), clothes for school and surplus food stuff. Money gets really tricky here. I'm too tired to really go into it but a lot of the "tricky-ness" comes from being a post-communist country. Anyway, that's where we are for now. I would include pictures but our camera broke 2 months ago. Nan found us a new one that our friends are bringing back from the states this weekend. Til then, I'm signing out.

pee-pee in the potty

Hannah went pee-pee in the potty! We are so proud of her! The look of accomplishment on her face when she did it was priceless. It's good to be headed in the direction of ditching the diapers for at least one of our kids (goodness me - they are expensive!). She was quick to show Little Doggie what she did and now he does it too (so she says). Of course, since we are in a land of pit toilets, the next day I let her practice squatting in the bathtub and peeing in the drain. Hey - she needs to know how to do both! So, if you all could give her a good cheer, that'll help the process along :)

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Just a quick post to say Merry Christmas! It is Christmas afternoon here and both kids and Rees are napping. I took a power nap already and am enjoying some rare quiet, alone time. We had a wonderful morning together. We got Hannah up singing, "Joy to the World" and Little Doggie was quickly dancing with us :) We all sat on our bed and read the Christmas story and talked about how God gave us the best gift of all and how we are so fortunate to be able to give each other gifts too. We wanted to do a little more explaining as Hannah told me the other day that Jesus was here, that he was in the tree (we do have a Christmas tree) and that he was wearing red. A little confusion :) Does anyone have a suggestion for a children's book that tells the story of the real Santa Claus? Santa is almost non-existant here (which is fine by us, takes out a lot of the consumerism) but they do have New Years trees. I find myself amazed as I sit in the living room of our apartment in a country so far from my home country that I have a tree and a wreath (two actually). I didn't expect to have such things but what a blessing to create a bit of the ambiance of Christmas from home for our kids. We brought toys and crafts from home that we saved for Christmas and I found a few other cheap things here for the kiddos. I love these ages though because Hannah probably enjoyed the pipe cleaners and stickers we gave her more than anything and Emmett seems to like the little baby play gym I found here. Lots less wrapping paper to clean up but our hearts couldn't be more full. We feel so fortunate to be able to spend the day together and keep things simple. What a gift. Hoping that each of you have a very Merry Christmas and know that we love and miss you.

In our own place

As would be expected, there is a lot to say and not much time to write. We found an apartment a few "domes" (buildings) from Troy & Jenny but in an area where they don't have any relationships yet. It's the equivalent of a two bedroom apartment. Here they call it three rooms. Hospitality is almost synonymous with breathing so the third room is referred to as the guest room. There is a Tajik kitchen out on our balcony (very different from what we would call a balcony - enclosed with windows but most of them are missing). There's a sink and a few ratty cabinets (not animal rats, just in rough shape) and a small countertop that we keep our gas cooktop on. There's another room that we'll put something akin to a western kitchen in but right now it's completely empty minus an old soviet gas range and a lightbulb hanging from the ceiling. To answer a question many people have asked (and more are probably wondering) we do have a toilet. We also have a bathtub. We are in the beginning of winter (which they say goes from December to February) so electricity is pretty unpredictable which also means that for us on the fourth floor, water is unpredictable too as we rely on an electric pump so we keep a huge bin filled with water (with a lid that secures on top so the kids couldn't get into it). I know some of you are thinking, "I couldn't live like that" and it would be really hard to live like this in America, but here this is how everyone (minus the president and his family) lives and you just live differently. We have a portable heater that's gas and electricity so when the electricity is out, we turn it on in our room (yes - we keep it ventilated) and we hang out and entertain guests in there. It's actually kind of nice to keep things simple. Rees and I sleep on korpuchas - mats that they use for sleeping and sitting so we fold them up during the day. Hannah is doing the best she has since we moved in to our own place. We are seeing her silliness and joyfulness again and are very encouraged. She has been so verbal for so long that we think moving here and having everyone so interested in her (they love kids here) and not being able to communicate with them was mostly what set off her aggressive, defiant behavior. Of course it's more complex than that, but we are trying to discern how to extend her a lot of grace and still be consistent in disciplining her. Extra prayers and any words of advice and encouragement welcome :) I'll stop there on the living conditions end of things and finish up for now by saying we have a fantastic language teacher (what our associates refer to as a language nurturer) named Gulzira who has a soft, kind heart but who also gives us straightforward, honest advice about how to interact with the culture. She lives in the dome between the Ready's and us and we feel like we are learning a lot from her. We have a two hour language lesson every day Monday - Friday and come away from it feeling really tired but also really enthused to keep learning. Our Tajik family out in the village has a lot going on and we as part of the family get to be involved in everything. This week there is a baby due and a wedding. Here the groom's family hosts the wedding and cooks all the food for it. The wedding is on Sunday and I'm responsible for making "American salad" for it. I was a little concerned as to how to make "American salad" without lettuce and many other veggies available but after a few conversations it came out that it just has to be non-Tajik. So pasta salad it is! We are headed back out to the village on Saturday to help chop up carrots and help make Tajik salad (I'll make American salad and bring it out with us) and we'll spend the night and spend all day on Sunday being involved in wedding festivities. I'm the family photographer so I'll post some pics, but for now here are a few.

AT LONG LAST...

Sorry, don't have any pictures downloaded yet, but they will come. We've been here four weeks now and are happy to say we are doing really well. It was a long travel to get here but I don't think the kids could have done any better. It took about a week for them to get over jet-lag, but I think that's pretty good all things considered. We were here 2 days before going out to "the village" to start our homestay. Let me clarify village - here that just means the areas right outside the city. In the states we'd call it a suburb. Living is more rustic in the village (electricity is more spotty, no running water, pit toilet - you get the picture) but it's also quite peaceful and beautiful. If I compare it to my house in the states it's much more rustic, but if I compare it to backpacking it's pretty luxurious. The night sky reminds me of nights out under the stars in the cascades - absolutely beautiful. I look at Orion, the big dipper and Casiopia and think about how some of my loved ones may be looking at the same constellations at night (although I'm sure it's a much clearer view where we are - no city lights and all :). I digress - we arrived at the home of our host family on Oct. 24th. In their household there is a mom and dad (Muallim-Jon - which means dear teacher, and Khola-Jon his wife). They have 5 sons and 2 daughters. The way things work here (at least in the village) is that you marry off your daughters and marry in your daughter-in-laws. So daughter-in-laws move into the home of their husband and pretty much run the place. They are called kalenes and they do all the cooking, cleaning, washing, etc. Have you ever seen "A Day Without a Mexican"? I often think of that and imagine an equivalent here would be "A Day Without a Woman." Women keep this place running. I think it would take a long time for them to realize the men were gone but the whole country would probably shut down in 24hrs if the women disappeared. Anyway, our family has 2 kalenes - one has 4 daughters and has another baby due in December the other has 2 sons. The one with 2 sons (her name is Zanobar) husband is the second oldest son. His name is Jamshed. The other, Dilafruz, husband is the oldest son who is working in Russia right now. The youngest son, Alisher ("Ali - share") is 21 and is going to the university and teaching English to kids a little bit (don't let that fool you though, he doesn't speak English - I know that's confusing but let's just say that if you can read English you can teach English here - you don't have to understand it). So just to clarify - in our household there is (for lack of better terms) a matriarch and patriarch, two daughter-in-laws, two sons and 6 kids. Another son just came back from Russia a few days ago too - his name is Firuz and he's getting married in January. Muallim-Jon is a very respected community member and director of the local school - which Unicef built about 10 yrs ago. He is a diamond in the rough - kind, patient, progressive (ie: he believes that beating your wife and/or kids is wrong - a minority stance here). He is a fantastic language teacher and forgive the cliche - just a really good person. Khola-Jon is warm, funny and patient as well. The two kalenes have become dear friends and the three sons have adopted us into the family. We are so thankful for their patience with us and feel so fortunate to have a Tajik family that we are so bonded with. They treat us so well. We have the nicest and biggest room of the household to ourselves and they feed us three hot, fresh meals a day with lots of nuts, fruit and non to snack on in between meals if we want. We drink a TON of tea (choi). I'm guessing we've drank over 1000 cups (accumulatively - is that a word?) since we've been here. In the morning we eat non (fresh whole wheat flat bread) with milk fresh from the cow and drink tea. I'll explain a regular day another time. Lets just say, we couldn't eat any more fresh or healthy.

Rees has sparked a resurgence of Football (Soccer) in the neighborhood. Most afternoons the men play at the local school and they have even began to organize specail games on the weekend where lots of people come out to watch. He is meeting a lot of people and is experiencing a lot of favor relationally. still frustrated with the language barrier but very motivated to work hard at it.

Please Know that we are doing really good and thankyou for your prayers. We are starting to look at some apartments and hopefully within a week or 2 will have a place of our own and will have the ability to connect with many of you. until then we love you so much and may the Lord be with you.

THE BETTINGERS- Zafar, Niso, Soro, and Behruz.