Hannah Fun Bettinger

Within weeks of Hannah's birth we realized that we struck gold in giving her the middle name Joy. We also quickly realized that we could have appropriately given her "Fun" as a middle name because she's been so fun right from the beginning. I remember when she was just a couple weeks old asking my mom, "is it too early to say that she's an extrovert?" She was flashing huge, drooly grins to anyone who remotely looked at her by 4 weeks old.
I'm full of thankfulness for my little family. They are my favorite people to be around. I was going to an exercise class last night (which deserves a blog all of its own - it's awesome to have a place for women to exercise!) and I realized just before I walked out the door that I already couldn't wait to get home to hang out with them again.
I was sitting with Hannah this afternoon, sipping cold R.C. cola (a special treat for both of us) and playing Princess Go Fish and just feeling nostalgic or something. I tend to think ahead but God just blessed me with a moment of present-mindedness and I looked at that darling pale-skinned, big-blue-eyed, contagious smiling face and felt soooo blessed that I get to have Hannah as a daughter. She's just so fun. We had been swimming this morning at the pool and I was just marveling at her lack of fear and busy-ness. She was constantly alternating between swimming all over the place, jumping in, figuring out new things to do with her floaty toy and searching for treasures (which in this case was composed of various leaves and a dead cockroach she found floating in the pool - yeah, she even wanted to take "him" home). We just played charades with her the other night for the first time and she was so good at it! We briefly told her how to play and she just jumped in. She's always up for a new game (or making up a new one herself), always looking for an adventure, always wanting to create something. She's even old enough to go to the bozor with me or on special visits. She's just so much fun.
I think this is all extra sweet to me because from about age 2 - 3 1/2 parenting her was so darn difficult. I had a number of moments where I truly thought that I wouldn't survive parenting her. That I would never get to enjoy an adult relationship with her because the stress of parenting her would have already done me in. I know it's over-dramatic but if you've ever had a strong-willed toddler/preschooler I'm sure you can relate. If you can't relate, be thankful that your kids are/were on the slightly more compliant end of the spectrum. It seemed that no matter how consistent and loving I was and how conscientious I was to not create power-struggles and such - nothing was working. She'd say, "Can we go outside?" and I say, "sure, let's put on our shoes and go out." She would proceed to scream that she did NOT want to go out and would NOT put on her shoes. It seemed that everything had to be a fight for her and 95% of our requests were met with absolute refusal. I felt some days that all I did that day was deal with discipline. It really wore me out. But something started to happen around 3 1/2 and has continued to happen. If you had told me then what kind of kid she'd be now, I would not have believed it. But she's grown in so many areas (so have I) and she's so helpful and thoughtful and kind. And just so much fun.
Here are a couple pics in honor of my delightful 5 yr old girl.

She loves climbing rocks.

With friends, Hannah & Nadiyah, a few weeks ago.

We love this expressive face!

She's constantly climbing something. At home, it's the walls and doorframes.

Broom Season and Water Punishment

I must apologize (again and again) for not writing more and not posting more pictures. Life in the developing world just requires a lot of time and the internet requires a lot of time to load and stay connected and all that. It just hasn't made it to the top part of my priority list to use the time I've got for blogging as much as I intended to. That said, while we are in the U.S. I'm hoping to load more pictures of these last years assuming that internet speed is faster. Don't quote me on that, I'm just sharing my intention :)
I realize that we've really adjusted to living here in a lot of ways in that life here is quite different than it is in the U.S. but I actually have to sit and think about what the differences are anymore. There are moments that the differences are difficult to miss, like finally figuring out that there is a broom season here. Just like there is strawberry season, blueberry season, apple season, pumpkin season, there is broom season here. There are people that go around with brooms stacked up on their bikes and they holler out, "Jorub da biyo!" which more or less means, "Come for brooms!" and if you need a broom, you walk out and buy one from the guy. Well, a year and a half ago (fall) I bought two brooms for just over $1 each (5 Tajik somoni each with an exchange rate of about 4.85 Tajik somoni to 1 U.S. dollar). Well, anymore I hear them outside selling the brooms for 14 TS. Inflation makes a bit of a difference but once you see a broom tree you figure out that brooms are seasonal so if you buy them out of season, they are more expensive (just like anything else would be). There really are little trees that grow that get harvested, dried and bound to be sold as brooms. So we have broom season here.
Now another way in which life is quite a bit different here is the focus on the group as opposed to the individual. Most Asian people understand this (if they aren't too far removed from their respective Asian cultures). You reward the group and you punish the group. In the U.S. we highly highly highly value the rights of the individual. You don't really see that here so much. Here's a case in point, about a month ago, the bill collector for city water came around. Apparently many people were in arrears for their water use. He went to every home multiple times and many people balked and sulked and said that the water isn't coming out very well or they don't have any money or it's too expensive or whatnot. Others of us paid for our water usage. Me, the only Westerner in our building, heard the bill collector was here and immediately got my receipt book and wallet and stood in my door, waiting for him to come. We don't have a mail system to speak of and certainly can't use credit cards anywhere so we literally just wait around for bill collectors to come and we pay them when they do. Well, apparently my neighbor (who has been renting his apartment since the fall) was behind like 4 years in paying for water. Of course, he shouldn't have to pay for the water that was used before he moved in so he paid for his own water usage. Others had similar situations or just used the above excuses. I ended up paying for our water usage til August when we will be leaving (practical, right? Why wait around for this guy to show up again when I can take care of all of it now and have records of it). Well, the long and the short of it is, the bill collector tried collecting the money for three weeks, threatening to turn off our water if the money isn't paid. He even posted the names and apartment numbers of every home and how much they owed and posted it at every entrance. Apparently the money wasn't paid so just a day or two after our American guests came to visit, our water was turned out. I mean our whole apartment building's water. Can you imagine how this would go over in Amercia? :) We were totally caught up and even ahead of schedule paying, but we are part of the group so we get a collective punishment. I thought that it would be off until the money was paid but this sweet girl who comes and helps me at home twice a week told me it was just a punishment and that it would be off for a week no matter what. Fortunately for us, we are accustomed to the water going dry on occasion so we had like 30-40 liters stored up and we'd end up with a trickle coming out of the faucets in the middle of the night so we'd fill up our containers all over again. We also have friends who had water so we showered and bathed our kids at their place (thanks Readys and Wilburs!). I still feel a mixture of indignity and hilarity at these kinds of things but they just don't surprise me anymore. So, there you have it - broom season and collective punishment for a few people not paying for their water. The fact that many could have paid for water and didn't is a whole other topic :) We'll see how it goes in a few months when the water collector fellow returns.

Updated pic of us

Just thought I'd add an updated picture of all of us. . You can see how big the kids are getting and how much older Rees and I are getting :) I hope you can also see the lovely amounts of time we get to spend with each other and the bonding effects on us of our adventures in a developing country :) Actually, in this picture both Emmett and I have pink eye, we all have colds and the kids are exhausted but we kept them up because our friend was on his way over to take our picture. Isn't that the way things go?
We just got to spend a weekend up in the capital city, Dushanbe, at a Peace Making training. It was really cute because the capital city is noticeably more developed than the city we live in and Hannah told me before we went up there that "Dushanbe" in English is "America" and that in Tajik it's called "Dushanbe." I tried to clarify that Dushanbe wasn't really America and that when we actually go to America (Tajiks refer to the U.S. as America) we will go on a plane for a REALLY long time. Well, she really didn't get that and when we arrived in Dushanbe she asked when she would get to see Nanu and Grandma. I know you are probably doing one of those "oooh" things right now - I did. But kids are resilient and we told her that she would get to see Nanu and Grandma when we go to the real America in August - when it gets so so so hot. She was happy with that answer.
We have a lot to look forward to the next few months. I like having events to punctuate the day-to-day of life. Our Swiss coworker is returning in a few days and will be here for a few months before returning to Switzerland so it will be nice to catch up with him. Our other Swiss friends have been talking about putting on a Swiss Night with him when he gets here.  We will be going up to a place we really enjoy in the mountains with a bunch of other families at the end of April. We get to welcome some friends from our home church in Portland at the beginning of May. We are sooo looking forward to seeing them and having them interact with our lives here. At the end of May (the 26th for those who are interested in knowing) the Ready's will return to the states for the summer. We aren't looking forward to their being gone but it will be a good time for them and we will try to catch up with them stateside in August before they return to T-stan. We also have Hannah turning 5 on April 10th and Emmett turning 3 on May 30th. We know that time will just fly right by before we are seeing everyone this fall in the states. Summer always seems to vacillate from manic to lethargic and back again and we are going to be enjoying our local friends and neighbors and our dear ex-pat friends here as much as possible before leaving for 4-5 months.
Well, it's time to play Princess Go-Fish with Hannah (we have to time it for when Emmett is asleep so he doesn't take the cards and throw them in the bathtub).

Not Quite Spring...

Last year it seemed we only had a couple weeks of winter in January and then another week or two in March. This year, we've had winter since the beginning of November right up until present. We've had a couple warm days here and there and have definitely taken advantage of them. Soon enough - possibly even next week - it will be spring and spring moves quickly into summer and by mid-summer winter will be far from our memories ('cuz it gets HOT here). I thought I'd try to post a few winter pics before spring is officially upon us.
By the way - we bought our tickets and we'll be back in the U.S. on August 16th, staying through the holidays. We'll actually leave T-stan on August 11th and spend 5 days with Rees' cousin Luci and her family in Germany before leaving for the states.

I'm sure there's a lot of anecdotes to share about life here the last few months but I'm turning up blank (almost). It's been a long, cold winter and though it's no more cold than any of the last winters in the Pacific NW (so we hear), not having consistent electricity definitely makes a difference. That and the fact that every time the snow and ice outside have melted, everything turns into a mud pit. So every day when I take the kids outside, I'm signing up for more muddy laundry and probably washing Emmett's jacket again. Now, I'm not an anal child-dresser. I'm the mom who used the same burp-cloth or bib until it just wasn't absorbing anything anymore it was so wet. I shake the dust of my kids' clothes in the summer and if they look ok and aren't creating too many more dust clouds, I let them wear the same clothes again the next day (unless they need to actually look nice for something, of course). They're kids, they play hard and subsequently get really messy all the time. You should see Emmett's winter jacket. He can hardly take 3 steps outside w/o belly flopping in a huge mud puddle. His jacket is black so he usually has a huge dried-mud beige patch all over the front and down at least one sleeve. It's a Chinese imitation of North Face and has 'North Fac' written on it. The seem is coming out along one side and today he came home from their teacher's house with a 6 inch hole burned in it. So much for passing this one on :) All I have to say is that no matter how poor a country you're living in - it is totally worth it to figure out some way to have an automatic washing machine. So many of my friends marvel that I don't fight with my kids while they're playing outside (since they get dirty out there). I always tell them, "I have an automatic washing machine, so it doesn't take me any time to wash their clothes." A funny aside - here, most daughter-in-laws/wives are the household servant - doing most of the chores, washing, cooking, etc. A local friend of mine who doesn't live with her mother-in-law has an automatic washing machine and she calls it her daughter-in-law. She tells people, "my daughter-in-law washes all their (her children's) clothes." I loved that.
I was outside chatting with some neighbors the other day. We were all wearing a bunch of layers and scarves and all that. I told them that I thought I was used to living here but that I'm so cold and depressed this winter. I explained that the weather was not much different than the winter weather in my home city in America and they said, "but there's one thing that's very different." I said, "what?" They laughed and said, "You have electricity in America!" I started laughing too - that makes a big difference. Even when it's cold and dark outside, in the states we can still be inside in a warm, light room. Add to that the number of coffee shops, indoor play areas, the gym (with child care), etc, etc and the winter just isn't so bad (unless you've moved to the Pac NW from a sunny place - that's another story). So there's my random ramblings for right now. We don't have anything super exciting to report. Enjoy a nice, hot cup of good coffee for us and we'll drink extra tea for you.

The kids these days

We've recently found out something interesting - well, to us it's interesting and it will explain the infrequent posts. We have tried to log on to our blog a number of times the last 4 months or so and probably 75% of the time, it doesn't respond. Well, we recently tried a different company's SIM card on our cell stick (what we use for internet - 3G) and wonder of wonders, it worked. Now, every time we use that SIM card, we can get onto our blog. That said, I'm currently using our regular company's SIM card and it's working.
What I really wanted to write a quick post on is the kids. I only have 30 min of battery left on my computer so we'll see. Basically, the kids are doing great. They are more fun than ever. I can't believe how much I'm enjoying them being 4 1/2 and 2 1/2. Emmett absolutely adores Hannah. The other day he got hurt and I asked him if he wanted mommy to kiss his owie. He said, "no, ditda (sister) kiss it." He then turned to Hannah and said, "Ditda, I got owie, ditda kiss it?" She said, in an overly-syrupy voice, "Oh Em! You got an owie? I'll kiss it." Upon receiving the kiss of big sister, the owie was better. Don't get me wrong, they fight like brother and sister too. They are experts on how to get under each other's skin. The thing is, that they get along at least as much as they don't get along. I'm encouraged by this. I told Hannah one day, "I pray every day that you and Emmett will be good friends." She said, "but mom, we already are." Emmett is more likely to do what Hannah asks than what Rees and I ask (we're working on that :). It's really remarkable because I can send them outside in the morning to play and they will stay in front of our apartment - Hannah looking after Emmett and he staying close to his sister. Now, I leave the door open and I'm constantly looking and listening out the window for them, but it's still amazing to see them walk down the stairs together and look after each other, exploring the little world around them. Where we live is very conducive to this. Granted, our apartment building would be condemned if it was in the states (as well as probably all of the apartment buildings around here), but there are moms and kids everywhere and most of the women are home. The bigger kids are totally accustomed to looking after the littler kids so when the kids go outside, it's not only me that's keeping track of them, it's a bunch of other people. There's dirt, mud, sand, rocks, sticks, puddles, sidewalks and all the stuff that "free play" is made out of. I think the kids enjoy feeling a little "independent." I'm amazed at their imaginations and though at times I feel bad that they don't have the wealth of parks and opportunities here that they would have in the states, I love that they are able to contentedly play with what's around. Even at home, they are never bored. They are constantly making up games. Just last night our friends were over and one of their daughters drew a carpet on a large piece of paper and all this morning (while they were inside) Hannah and Emmett were having flying carpet adventures. Even hunting for deer (where'd they get that idea? :) from their flying carpet. They don't feel entitled to movies and such (though they enjoy movies) and are used to the electricity going out and the water going dry. Just last week they were watching a movie and the electricity went out. Not a tear, whine or yell. We found them sitting in the dark, trying to find their toys. Rees overheard Hannah tell Emmett, "we'll just have to finish watching that when the svet (electricity) comes back on." It's great to see some of the positive effects of their growing up in a developing country already. Now, there's always something to say about the negatives, but I'm not going to focus on that today because I'm feeling pretty blessed right now and I don't want to ruin that.

I think they look like little thugs in this picture but I love it. After a long morning of playing in the mud and snow, they road in the car while we drove around the city looking for somewhere that had propane for our gas balons.

Guest Entry by Rees – Live from a Tajik Hospital

Guest Entry by Rees – Live from a Tajik Hospital

Well, I want to make a disclaimer and say from the outset that I’m so grateful that I was able to get this procedure accomplished in-country and avoided the alternative of making another trip to Turkey. No offense against Turkey.

So the saga started last Friday when I arrived in Dushanbe to meet with a urologist to see if he had the tools and experience to remove the stent from my ureter. I was encouraged that he wanted blood and urine samples as well as an ultrasound. When I went back to the guy who was going to take my urine sample, he handed me an empty (what I assumed was sterilized) tomato jar and said, “fill it halfway.” I proceeded to give him some blood, urine and got the ultrasound and was pleasantly surprised when the total for that first bill came out equivalent to 5 US dollars. As we continued to discuss how the procedure would go, he recommended that I stay in their VIP suite at the clinic/hospital at a much more expensive price of roughly $22 for both Sara and me. I told them that I didn’t think that would be a problem. He told me to come back on Monday to be admitted and then we’d do the procedure on Tuesday.  We understood his reason for my coming on Monday to be that we would have to get all the medications and supplies ready as well as make sure that I didn’t have a fever prior to the removal of the stent. You see, the hospital doesn’t just give you all the meds and supplies and then charge you for them later – you actually have to run out to the pharmacy and buy everything yourself – and I mean everything: gauze, syringes, rubbing alcohol, ampules of medications with the stuff to reconstitute them. That’s all assuming that the pharmacy is open. It closed early the day we arrived. Go figure.

My first night in the Tajik hospital: I think I saw our beds in a 1940s WWII movie but I must say they are very comfortable. Though there’s no hot water or heater (or working light bulb) in the bathroom and the temperature hovers around freezing – our actual bedroom has an electric oil-filled heater that took the edge off the bite. You see it was snowing the day we came. Our room was equipped with a glass coffee table and a Persian rug and I was fixing to sleep well the night before the procedure. That is until a rooster started crowing at about 10pm and proceeded to resume his crowing every few hours until it was really morning. There is a chicken coop just under our window. I think we saw some bunnies out there too. He must have been excited about having an American in the hospital because he was hooping and hollering all night long.

After an un-restful night of sleep, we saw the doctor (about 10:30am) who explained to us that the cystoscope (the tool we needed to get the stent out) was broken and that we’d have to go to another location for the actual procedure. Apparently he’d tried to borrow one from another hospital but they said no. He had the nurse give me some shots of pain meds and antibiotics and then we proceeded to the parking lot where Sara and I got in his car as he drove us to the other hospital.

When we arrived, he scrubbed in while Sara and I waited outside – literally outside, under some trees – and he brought out four new medical students. By the way, this doctor is an excellent doctor and by no means do I want to paint him in a bad light, I just want to highlight how different medical care here is than what we’re used to. We walked, the seven of us, to a different building where we’d be doing the procedure and it was nice to see that it was a real urology department. When I parted from Sara and walked in the room, the first thing he asked me, more or less, was if I wanted to pray. At least that’s what I think he said - mind you this is all going down in Tajik. I said, “sure” and prayed for God to help and bless the doctor and to have mercy on me and I thanked Him for His love.

-brief interruption while Rees is getting another shot which will hopefully help him sleep-

After we prayed I dropped my drawers and climbed up onto this archaic looking apparatus complete with stirrups. I was up high enough in the air that my crotch was level with the doctor’s neck. Though they did try to flush my urethra with novacaine (for which I’m very grateful) the next hour proceeded to be one of the most uncomfortable experiences of my life. Apparently , it was quite difficult for them to get their tool into my bladder.  After the first couple tries failed, each subsequent try was preceded by a chant in Arabic referred to as the “bismi Allah” which means, “in the name of God, the most merciful, the most compassionate.” Worth mentioning is a description of the tool they were using, which I don’t think a merciful, compassionate God would be a huge fan of. It was a foot and a half long metal tube. By the time they got the tool in, there were 4 doctors and 4 doctors in training in the room. When they were able to retrieve the stent and pull it out of my body, there were many sighs of relief – including my own – which I exclamated with a “Glory, Hallelujah!” It felt marvelous for about 3 minutes, as I sat there without wires, pipes or tubes shoved up my penis. Unfortunately it only lasted 3 minutes until my doctor put in a urinary catheter, explaining to his students that it was necessary to make sure that the urethra didn’t swell so much that I wouldn’t be able to pee. Then one of the more compassionate students asked the doctor, “how long does he have to keep that in for?” I was really hoping that I heard him wrong when he said, “two days.”  From there we walked back to our doctor’s car. He handed me his key and said to go ahead and open the car and sit down and that he’d be back in a bit. By the way, this whole time I’m walking around with a catheter plugged up by lidocaine ampules. We made it back to the clinic – having narrowly missed an accident involving a large truck. Needless to say, these are the moments that I’m very blessed to have a wife who’s a nurse. Upon my arrival at the clinic instead of getting hooked up to a catheter bag I was handed an old, crumpled up 1.5 Ltr plastic bottle to let my catheter empty into. As Sara took the Lidocaine ampules out of the rubber ends of the catheter we found out that some pressure had been building up as bloody urine squirted past both of our faces – I’m happy to report it didn’t hit the nice rug in our room. The doctor assured me that keeping the cathater in for 2 days was neccisary but I was convinced I could have it out and be peeing on my own in a much shorter time. I drank lots of water and tea for the next 24 hours and got lots of “I’m sorry sweetie” sighs from Sara so In the end it could have been a lot worse. I did spend 2 more nights in the clinic although the 2^nd night was without a cathater. In fact as soon as he took it out and I was able to pee, Troy came to visit. I was really hungry. As soon as I saw that the doctor had gone home for the day , troy and I snuck out on the town and went to a middle eastern resteraunt  in the city and enjoyed the evening tube free.  We came back just after 8 and Troy stayed the night with me since sara had already left to be with the kids and Troy had to stay in the capitol anyway and my room was more comfortable that the room he had booked. Anyway that is pretty much a wrap on this event other that to say when it came to paying the bill I found my most pleasant surprise.  3 days inpatient, Procedure, catheterization, and all meds and drugs for going home and while in patient was a total of $238.  At least the price was right.  In the End the only other thing that happened to me was a week and a half later my right testicle swelled up like a jumbo egg, from an Infection that drained down from my bladder.  This was not the best Christmas present I have ever received. (it happened on Christmas day) I am now on my 10^th day of bed rest from that issue, on the mend though and grateful to be fighting this one at home, and that my wife is a nurse. I think she is enjoying sticking me with needles a little too much since she is giving me 2 IM shots of antibiotics in the Butt everyday. Just kidding. (about her enjoying it, she IS giving them to me) For now that is my story, I hope to  be through the egg ball situation by the next week.

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