In our own place

As would be expected, there is a lot to say and not much time to write. We found an apartment a few "domes" (buildings) from Troy & Jenny but in an area where they don't have any relationships yet. It's the equivalent of a two bedroom apartment. Here they call it three rooms. Hospitality is almost synonymous with breathing so the third room is referred to as the guest room. There is a Tajik kitchen out on our balcony (very different from what we would call a balcony - enclosed with windows but most of them are missing). There's a sink and a few ratty cabinets (not animal rats, just in rough shape) and a small countertop that we keep our gas cooktop on. There's another room that we'll put something akin to a western kitchen in but right now it's completely empty minus an old soviet gas range and a lightbulb hanging from the ceiling. To answer a question many people have asked (and more are probably wondering) we do have a toilet. We also have a bathtub. We are in the beginning of winter (which they say goes from December to February) so electricity is pretty unpredictable which also means that for us on the fourth floor, water is unpredictable too as we rely on an electric pump so we keep a huge bin filled with water (with a lid that secures on top so the kids couldn't get into it). I know some of you are thinking, "I couldn't live like that" and it would be really hard to live like this in America, but here this is how everyone (minus the president and his family) lives and you just live differently. We have a portable heater that's gas and electricity so when the electricity is out, we turn it on in our room (yes - we keep it ventilated) and we hang out and entertain guests in there. It's actually kind of nice to keep things simple. Rees and I sleep on korpuchas - mats that they use for sleeping and sitting so we fold them up during the day. Hannah is doing the best she has since we moved in to our own place. We are seeing her silliness and joyfulness again and are very encouraged. She has been so verbal for so long that we think moving here and having everyone so interested in her (they love kids here) and not being able to communicate with them was mostly what set off her aggressive, defiant behavior. Of course it's more complex than that, but we are trying to discern how to extend her a lot of grace and still be consistent in disciplining her. Extra prayers and any words of advice and encouragement welcome :) I'll stop there on the living conditions end of things and finish up for now by saying we have a fantastic language teacher (what our associates refer to as a language nurturer) named Gulzira who has a soft, kind heart but who also gives us straightforward, honest advice about how to interact with the culture. She lives in the dome between the Ready's and us and we feel like we are learning a lot from her. We have a two hour language lesson every day Monday - Friday and come away from it feeling really tired but also really enthused to keep learning. Our Tajik family out in the village has a lot going on and we as part of the family get to be involved in everything. This week there is a baby due and a wedding. Here the groom's family hosts the wedding and cooks all the food for it. The wedding is on Sunday and I'm responsible for making "American salad" for it. I was a little concerned as to how to make "American salad" without lettuce and many other veggies available but after a few conversations it came out that it just has to be non-Tajik. So pasta salad it is! We are headed back out to the village on Saturday to help chop up carrots and help make Tajik salad (I'll make American salad and bring it out with us) and we'll spend the night and spend all day on Sunday being involved in wedding festivities. I'm the family photographer so I'll post some pics, but for now here are a few.

AT LONG LAST...

Sorry, don't have any pictures downloaded yet, but they will come. We've been here four weeks now and are happy to say we are doing really well. It was a long travel to get here but I don't think the kids could have done any better. It took about a week for them to get over jet-lag, but I think that's pretty good all things considered. We were here 2 days before going out to "the village" to start our homestay. Let me clarify village - here that just means the areas right outside the city. In the states we'd call it a suburb. Living is more rustic in the village (electricity is more spotty, no running water, pit toilet - you get the picture) but it's also quite peaceful and beautiful. If I compare it to my house in the states it's much more rustic, but if I compare it to backpacking it's pretty luxurious. The night sky reminds me of nights out under the stars in the cascades - absolutely beautiful. I look at Orion, the big dipper and Casiopia and think about how some of my loved ones may be looking at the same constellations at night (although I'm sure it's a much clearer view where we are - no city lights and all :). I digress - we arrived at the home of our host family on Oct. 24th. In their household there is a mom and dad (Muallim-Jon - which means dear teacher, and Khola-Jon his wife). They have 5 sons and 2 daughters. The way things work here (at least in the village) is that you marry off your daughters and marry in your daughter-in-laws. So daughter-in-laws move into the home of their husband and pretty much run the place. They are called kalenes and they do all the cooking, cleaning, washing, etc. Have you ever seen "A Day Without a Mexican"? I often think of that and imagine an equivalent here would be "A Day Without a Woman." Women keep this place running. I think it would take a long time for them to realize the men were gone but the whole country would probably shut down in 24hrs if the women disappeared. Anyway, our family has 2 kalenes - one has 4 daughters and has another baby due in December the other has 2 sons. The one with 2 sons (her name is Zanobar) husband is the second oldest son. His name is Jamshed. The other, Dilafruz, husband is the oldest son who is working in Russia right now. The youngest son, Alisher ("Ali - share") is 21 and is going to the university and teaching English to kids a little bit (don't let that fool you though, he doesn't speak English - I know that's confusing but let's just say that if you can read English you can teach English here - you don't have to understand it). So just to clarify - in our household there is (for lack of better terms) a matriarch and patriarch, two daughter-in-laws, two sons and 6 kids. Another son just came back from Russia a few days ago too - his name is Firuz and he's getting married in January. Muallim-Jon is a very respected community member and director of the local school - which Unicef built about 10 yrs ago. He is a diamond in the rough - kind, patient, progressive (ie: he believes that beating your wife and/or kids is wrong - a minority stance here). He is a fantastic language teacher and forgive the cliche - just a really good person. Khola-Jon is warm, funny and patient as well. The two kalenes have become dear friends and the three sons have adopted us into the family. We are so thankful for their patience with us and feel so fortunate to have a Tajik family that we are so bonded with. They treat us so well. We have the nicest and biggest room of the household to ourselves and they feed us three hot, fresh meals a day with lots of nuts, fruit and non to snack on in between meals if we want. We drink a TON of tea (choi). I'm guessing we've drank over 1000 cups (accumulatively - is that a word?) since we've been here. In the morning we eat non (fresh whole wheat flat bread) with milk fresh from the cow and drink tea. I'll explain a regular day another time. Lets just say, we couldn't eat any more fresh or healthy.

Rees has sparked a resurgence of Football (Soccer) in the neighborhood. Most afternoons the men play at the local school and they have even began to organize specail games on the weekend where lots of people come out to watch. He is meeting a lot of people and is experiencing a lot of favor relationally. still frustrated with the language barrier but very motivated to work hard at it.

Please Know that we are doing really good and thankyou for your prayers. We are starting to look at some apartments and hopefully within a week or 2 will have a place of our own and will have the ability to connect with many of you. until then we love you so much and may the Lord be with you.

THE BETTINGERS- Zafar, Niso, Soro, and Behruz.

Comfort in the sadness

It may seem like it would have been easier to move across the world as a single, "unattached" person or even as a married couple without kids. I'm sure logistically it probably would be easier. It's certainly not easy packing, sorting and taking care of paperwork (wills, power of attorney, insurance, etc) with an energetic 2 yr old who wants to be talked to and played with and a baby who needs to be fed and held. However, as we make the most of our last days in the States I'm struck by the comfort I feel in holding my children and the security I feel when Rees puts his arm around me and how I get to continue to hold my kids and be held by my husband no matter where I live and what's going on around me. It's something that's certain in the midst of uncertainty. So while we are saying such heart-wrenching goodbyes, I'm cherishing every moment that I have Emmett in my arms and I can rub my face in his fuzzy head of hair and I'm thankful that that doesn't end when we step on the plane next Tuesday.

Our Fifth Family Member...

No I'm not pregnant. I thought it was high time Little Doggie was mentioned on our blog. For starters, it's Little "Doe-ghee" not "Daw-ghee." Hannah has what we have termed, "The Soothing Trifecta" composed of Little Doggie, yellow blankie and her pacifier (affectionately called "pass"). All three must be present for maximum soothing action. She has even shortened them all and will call them, "Dog, blank and pass."
Little Doggie has become her alter ego the last two months or so. She tells me in all earnestness, "Doggie's on time out." When I ask why it's "because he screamed at mommy." Doggie can get off time out when "he's ready to obey mommy with a kind heart." She'll sit him there and say, "sit Doggie! You're on time out!" and once he's off he's rewarded with, "Good job Doggie!" and a big hug. Doggie is a good reflection of what Hannah is thinking and how she's feeling. "Doggie's tired, he needs a nap" and "Doggie went poopoo in the potty. Good job Doggie!" She's even been breastfeeding him lately. Actually more like belly-feeding him, but the idea is there. Here's a picture of her feeding him ("he wants to eat on the other side too, mommy"). She's pretty modest feeding him too, huh? These days Doggie sleeps a lot. She wraps him up in yellow blankie and gives him a pacifier and turns the wave machine on ("Doggie needs the waves on, shhh-shhh-shhh").

Hannah's Nanu (Rees' mom) got her Doggie for her first birthday. We took Hannah to a toy store (Kids at Heart on Hawthorne - woot woot) and Nan said, "I'm going to let her pick whatever toy she wants." She saw a 3 foot tall Dalmatian across the store and shrieked and started crawling as fast as she could to it yelling, "dog! dog! dog!" and wrapped her arms around it and hugged and kissed it. I told Nan, "Rees would not be happy if we came home with that." So she started looking for smaller dogs and Little Doggie was the winner - nice choice since Rees is a UW Huskies alumni. Since so many people ask what he is ("is he a bear? a cat?") I just want to set the record straight - he's a husky dog. It's easy to wonder, though, as he's well loved and very matted.

I'm sure we'll have lots more pictures of Hannah and Little Doggie over the next few years. I'm glad Hannah has some security items during all the transition we are experiencing. Rees and I are debating on trying to find a replacement dog in the tragic event that Little Doggie gets lost. I think we're leaning toward not getting a replacement (since she'd know the difference anyway).

So here's a shout out to Little Doggie - thanks for being such a loyal companion and confidante to our little girl.

Busy (but rich) times in P-land

What a great weekend! We spent four days in Portland and it was so wonderful. I apologize in advance if we didn't get to see you. We drove up on Thursday after Hannah's swim lessons (which will need to be a totally separate blog entry). We spent Thurs even with the Cooks (always a favorite for Hannah. She adores their 5 kids and Rees & I love their company). Then Friday morning Hannah, Emmett and I met my friend Rachel and her daughter Hazel at Sweetness (52nd and Powell-ish - the BEST pastries around). Then we went over to our friend Jen's house to Hannah and Hazel play with her daughter, Lanning, and to see her newborn baby boy, Francis. We all met at the hospital mom's group when our daughters were newborns and now we are all having boys (Rachel is due in December). We have shared MANY cups of coffee and I'm sure would be sharing even more if we were not moving out of the country. They have been such great friends to have. I think every new mom needs friends that you can be a zombie around and not feel obligated to explain your child's behavior to - and not feel bad about complaining to :) The girls played together better than ever - running around the house hiding and laughing, examining the potty together, even sharing snacks (barely). Friday evening my coworkers threw a farewell party for us at Chris & Ginger Fountain's house (thanks again Fountains!). It was BYOFPT (bring your own favorite pizza topping) - how clever is that? I know I've said it before but I will keep saying it: no one has better coworkers than me. They are not only thoughtful, compassionate, proficient people but they are so much fun and so supportive. I love all of you oncology peeps (and all your spouses, kids, all you float pool peeps, and on and on :). One Saturday we got to see our friends Casey & Hiromi Corrigan and meet their little girl Anna Mae. Casey is a great question-asker. I love those kinds of people. We hadn't seen them in over 2 years and now that they have moved back to the Portland area, we are moving away. Go figure. Saturday evening we got to see our former pastor Jon and his wife Connie. They are a huge reason why we stayed in Portland for so long and certainly a huge reason why we ended up connected to the church we are connected to. We all went to a prayer and potluck evening at our church which was incredible. We prayed for Troy & Jenny and the country we are going to and then they surrounded us with prayer at the the end. There was such a sweet sense of God's presence - we didn't want it to end! Thank you to everyone who helped make that happen - we feel so loved and supported. On Sunday morning we were "commissioned" at both services at our church. For those who don't know what this is, they pretty much conveyed their love and support of us and their agreement with what we are doing. It's a really neat way to head out on such an adventure. I wish everyone embarking on a huge life adventure could experience the support we have experienced. After church we had lunch with some dear friends who have been like family to us. Amongst them was Hannah's babysitter, Grace. I hesitate to call her her babysitter as she has been so much more significant to Hannah and our family. Grace's family (the Taylors) moved to Central Asia when Grace was 3 months old and lived there for 13 years. We had the blessed experience of living a block away from them for the last year as Jim got his TESOL degree at Multnomah. They have been an incredible blessing to us as we prepare to go to a similar area of the world with little kids. Hannah has adored Grace since she first met her and I just wish I could have captured her face when she saw her on Saturday evening. She looked like she couldn't believe it was true. They have a special relationship and Grace's mom, Kelly, says they are kindred spirits. I'm so thankful that Hannah has Grace. I think it will be so nice for Hannah to have someone who grew up in a similar place to talk to as she gets older. I'm sure that Grace will be much cooler than me at many junctures of life and I'm thankful that Hannah will have someone like Grace to talk to. If she is anything like Grace when she's 14, I'll feel pretty fortunate. Sunday evening we went to Rees' family in Lake Oswego's for our last "family pizza night." Bernie always cracks Hannah up and in return, we all crack up. We love our family in Lake Oswego/Portland area and are so thankful that we've had family in town. They have been a gift these last 7 1/2 years in Portland. We stayed the whole weekend at Laurel's house - one of our nearest and dearest friends in Portland. Laurel is like family to us and is another good "question-asker." We have had so many great conversations over the years and shared numerous refreshing prayer times. Hannah loves Laurel and loves playing in her grandkid play room. They did all kinds of crafts and Hannah is still telling me, "I want to go to Laurel's house." We swung by our house on the way back to Seattle and Hannah ran through the house yelling, "bye bye house!" Hannah seems a bit confused about where our home is but has been amazingly adaptable throughout all our transitioning so far. She asked her Nanu (Rees' mom), "Nanu, where's my home?" and since then we have established that she likes "Hannah's house" but also likes all the other houses we spend time at too. Rees asked which one she likes the best and she simply said, "all."

We are back in Seattle now, packing our suitcases (slowly and thoughtfully) and spending time with the people we love - we are so fortunate because there's a lot of people we love. That's that for now.

The good ol' Northwest!

We made it up to Seattle a few weeks ago. I came first with Hannah and Emmett and Rees followed a few days later. It was so sad to leave Portland - still doesn't seem real - but we are really enjoying ourselves in Seattle. It's been so wonderful to be so close to family and really good friends. I have so many friends with small kids who don't work outside the home and it's been so fun to get to hang out with them during the week. One of my best friends, Molly, lives 5 minutes from Rees' parents' house (where we're living). She's been living between Seattle and Cyprus (the island in the Mediterranean) for the last few years and it's great to be so close for at least a few months. I'm looking forward to going for walks and enjoying some good NW coffee with her while we're still here. We have been extra thankful for our wonderful Pacific NW summer this year as next year we will be living in a country with a much more severe summer - temps up to 120 degrees - Yikes! I've also enjoyed each cup of coffee (and I've been drinking lots of them!) as we will be switching to Nescafe and lots of tea in T-stan. There are A LOT of things I'm really savoring here as leaving for T-stan comes into view. There's definitely part of me that is dreading all the change we will be experiencing. Let's face it - moving from a very developed country and all that that entails to a developing country is going to be rough to say the least. I find myself looking forward to the long-term changes that we'll experience - ie: our appreciation for life, the character we'll grow, living more in tune with natural seasons and rhythms of life, the worldview our children will develop, learning a language, new understanding of who God is and lots of other things. The only problem with all that is that it takes a long time to develop and means difficult times in the meanwhile. We trust God to help us make the most of the time we have in the NW and help us all transition to Central Asia. Let us know if you are in Seattle and would like to get together. My cell is: 503-459-6104 and Rees' is 503-459-6102. We are in Chelan until Sept 5th and will be back in Portland Sept 17-20(ish) but are otherwise at Rees' parents' house in Kirkland. By the way, many people have asked us how it is living with Rees' parents and I can say a whole-hearted "wonderful!" Hannah loves having grandparents so close all the time and they are only 10min from my family as well.

These are our last days living in Portland . . . At least for now

We have been BUSY. Trying to pack up our house, find renters, sort through what things to keep - but mostly what to get rid of and where to rid it to, trying to connect with friends and family here in Portland and still maintain some consistency and fun in our kids' lives. Emmett occasionally sleeps a 6 or 7 hour stretch at night (probably once a week or so) and for that I am sooo thankful. Of course I'll enjoy when that becomes more consistent even more, but I know better than to hold my breath for that :) It happens when it happens.

We have been able to visit with a lot of different people. We had multiple dinners with friends and family last week: the Holladays, the Myers, our Thursday night prayer group, Laurel Nordlund. Reed & Nan spent an evening with us on the front end of their road trip too - generous and helpful as always - Reed helping Rees get our backyard back in order after our garage sale, Nan doing many loads of laundry for me. We all got to have dinner with Kim & Bern (Reed's cousin) and then my siblings (minus Jackie) came down from Seattle for the weekend. They helped me go through a bunch of my cupboards and took a car-full of stuff back to Seattle while also keeping Hannah occupied and Emmett happy so I could get some more things done. Shannon is coming back this Saturday morning to drive up to Seattle with me with the two kiddos. In the midst of this, Jeannette Cook and I and our two babies got to get away to Bonneville Hot Springs Resort while Mike and Rees and all the kids came to our house and had a slumber party. Jeannette and I enjoyed the ability to sit at a coffee shop for three hours talking, taking walks, and eating some great food very slowly (something I used to be good at before having kids). It was soooooooo wonderful to get to have uninterrupted conversation and get caught up on life. Rees, Mike and the kids had water fights, McDonald's, ice cream for breakfast and went fishing. Dads are so much fun. Yesterday Hannah, Emmett and I went to visit Reed's dad's cousin, Rosemary Wiles, and his cousin Kim at Rosemary's retirement place. She lives super close to us and is our last connection to Rees' grandpa's generation and all that history. I love hearing about life and the family's history through her perspective and appreciate her enthusiasm and curiosity about life. Hannah loved exploring her apartment and eating an ice cream cone outside in the courtyard and playing in the water fountain. I always say that this particular side of the family was a wonderful bonus for me marrying into the family. Shout out to the Ross/Duffy/Wiles clans! We love you! Kathryn Myer came over one evening until midnight and then again this morning and helped me pack up kitchen stuff and make some trash and Goodwill piles - thanks Kathryn! Such a gift of love. The highlight of our week so far was hearing from Troy & Jenny via Skype last night. I can't describe the good that did for my heart to hear their voices and see their faces. Myles is getting so big and by some miracle is even cuter - how could that be when he's already so cute? They are out of their village home-stay and back at Jonathan & Laura's house in the city and very happy to be there. They have demonstrated amazing perseverance through the heat, giardia, tough times relating to their host family and living in a developing country. We are ever thankful for their going ahead of us and "paving the way" for us to join them in early October. Troy is still having stomach issues so please pray for him and please pray that they will continue to excel at language learning and that they'll start to develop a rhythm of life there. They will be looking at areas to potentially live and then move to their own place around the time we come. That is when Jonathan & Laura (our team leaders) will be home from conferences and vacation. You could pray for them too as it will probably be stressful for them coming back into town trying to settle two families while getting their 5 kids back into the swing of things after having been out of town. It's always difficult to be dependent on other people and feel so needy, but that's exactly where we'll be. I hope that there will be some way in which we will eventually be a blessing to them.

For now, the plan is for me to move up to Seattle with Hannah & Emmett this Saturday. We'll move into Rees' parents' basement and live there until we leave for T-stan. Rees will follow within a few days of us. I'm going up on Saturday so that I can have lunch with some of my dearest childhood friends, Malaika, Meela and Rhea on Sunday. We will be going to Trout Lake Aug. 16th-20th to spend time with Mike & Jeannette and the kids. We also plan to come back to Portland for at least one (probably two) long weekends before we leave as well. Rees will most likely come back a few more times to wrap up business. We are sad to leave Portland as it has been such a great place to live these last 7 years and we love so many people here. But we are also excited to be up in Seattle and to be able to spend time with family and friends on a more regular basis than we have been able to